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Welcome to my wellness blog. I post on different ways that you can take of yourself, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Trying to spread overall wellness one post at a time. 

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgent, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." - Audre Lorde
Resting and Self-Love

Resting and Self-Love

It has been a while since I have posted on this blog.

Seven months to be exact.

The last post I made was on boundaries, so I had to hold myself accountable to that.

Truth is that after summer, my life has been full of activity. My new job has pushed and pulled me to grow as a clinician, I started teaching Graduate level courses again, I am commuting every day and Sundays are my only days off. Not to mention my attempts to maintain a balance by trying to keep in touch with friends, meeting my spiritual needs, being in a relationship and keeping in touch with my family.

Resting has become essential to my survival.

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For many years, I felt that if I rested or stayed home, I was “doing nothing” or, as others have put it, wasting my youthful life. Throughout my life, I heard different messages about rest from others that I internalized. Growing up, if I was not actively doing something, I was being a huevona. Even now, as I write this post, I am comparing myself with how hard my mother has worked all of her life.

Other messages that are constantly heard are, “ you are too young to always be tired”, “ I will sleep when I am dead”, and the worst one of all, “ why are you so tired? you do not have anything to be tired about.”

It does not help that we live in such a capitalistic society where “hard work” is admired and rewarded. Not to mention the daily micro-aggressions that we have to deal with and all of the systemic and structural issues we have had to face all of our lives.

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For me, there are feelings of guilt, shame and selfishness that are associated with resting. This is definitely something that I have been working through. I often feel as if I should be doing something when I have free time. Often times, that internalized voice judges me for resting and not having anything planned.

Recently, I realized that I was constantly keeping myself busy in an attempt to avoid confronting something I needed to deal with. The more I work with a therapist, the more I can work through this dilemma. Our negative coping skills and negative internalized messages are not the only factors that play a role in our tiredness. We deal with so many people, emotions, attitudes and energies everyday and this can take a toll on us. Depending on our jobs, families, friendships, and responsibilities, we may have to deal with much more than we anticipate. After so many interactions throughout my day, I am often left feeling drained.

This can be exhausting.

If we are not actively resting and meeting our basic needs, it is only a matter of time before we begin to fall apart. As the saying says, “we cannot pour from an empty cup.”

I am constantly practicing self-care but I do not know if I was resting as much as I needed to. The busier my schedule got, the more my body required from me. I had to take some time from writing this blog to honor my body. I had to place my needs first and show myself some love. My body needed me to rest.

Resting looks different for everyone.

Resting can be sleeping in, staying home, taking a bath ( or long shower) , talking a short, mindful walk, reading a book, drinking tea, watching tv, and so much more. Resting can also be taking a break from situations that drain us, choosing to stay in, or doing something that you enjoy, that will not exert too much energy. I cannot tell you how to rest; however, I can say that it is essential as we face our daily lives and challenges.

Listen to your body, only you know what it needs.

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My hope is that this post serves as validation for you. Upon reading this, I hope that you give yourself permission to rest and be still. I hope that this inspires you to truly listen to your body and its needs.

And, as you rest, I hope that your body, mind and spirit can recharge and re-energize.

Rest well.

The Art of Setting Boundaries

The Art of Setting Boundaries